Bereavement and grief: similar but different & can we learn to cope?

National Minority Health Month

April is National Minority Health Month. I think most would agree the term ‘health’ covers a wide range of issues including physical, mental, emotional and sometimes how and why all of those intersect.

Keeping it REAL Caregiving touched on one aspect of our health in the April Sunday Coffee Chat & Support Hour with a focus on coping with loss and bereavement.

Unfortunately, we had a technical glitch which caused a horrible audio feedback and we had to cut the session short.

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In the process, our incredible LIVE STREAM conversation did not record and was lost. But not to worry…

We’ll be recording a session so you’ll have a chance to hear from Toni Miles, MD, PhD, FGSA, Epidemiologist.

Dr. Miles is an advisor to eldercare initiatives including the CDC Healthy Brain, Georgia’s Alzheimer’s Task Force, and the John A. Hartford Foundation.

Based at the University of Georgia, Dr. Miles works with organizations to identify Best Practices in Bereavement Care.

Have questions you would like to ask Dr. Miles? Drop them in the discussion box and we’ll get those answered!

Some of what we’ll cover includes:

  • The difference between grief and bereavement

  • Signs and health symptoms which could be related to loss

  • Tools and tips for coping and moving forward from death(s) and dying

How much can loss impact us and those around us?

Dr. Miles’ research breaks down the numbers of what it means for those living with and moving through such loss as well as the larger impacts on our society.

However, today’s guest essayist goes deep to the emotional side of the reality of losing those we love.

Keeping it REAL Caregiving extends our deepest condolences for this difficult time. Please take a moment to share your expressions of support as well.

Courtesty: Adobe Stock

In her own words

Grieving does not have a time or place. There is no methodology or process. It just is…so why is it that everyone wants to tell you how to do it?

I’ll admit that when I was younger, I really couldn’t understand when someone said that they missed their mother who had been gone for more than 20 years… I get it now.

My mom passed in 2019 and I miss her every day. My dad too, and he passed in 2004. I had time to adjust when my parents died. Both had lived long lives.

My sister Jackie and brother Sam both had tragic deaths. Deaths that should never happen to anyone. Deaths which neither deserved, yet they happened.

How does one process those feelings? How does anyone fix their mouths to say, ‘Let it go,’ or ‘You will get over it?’

How!?

I have faced many trials in my life and I’ve never questioned my faith until the passing of my siblings. It was just so hurtful.

I’m angry and bitter, still. Jackie passed in 2016; Sam, a few weeks ago. All of the emotions from losing my sister came rushing back when Sam went missing.

It is just so f’ing hard to process why God let this happen to them.

‘Focus on the good memories,’ they say. ‘You’ll get over it,’ they say.

Easier said that done.

Oh, and by the way-never ever say those words to a grieving soul.

I’ve decided to allow myself to feel everything as it manifests itself, in real-time. I grieve unapologetically in a way that is unique to me.

I have no concern if it makes you uncomfortable. Because what I am acutely aware of is that time can ease the pain, if you give yourself permission to feel.

Memories are forever.

~B.G.

🌸🌺🌻🌷🌼💐🌸🌺🌻

Thank you for sharing your personal and difficult journey with the KIRC family. These are words we can all learn and gain strength from.

Be on the lookout for updates to when the recorded Sunday Coffee Chat & Support Hour: coping with loss and bereavement, will air and in the meantime ~ be kind to yourself and others.

Until next time~

*Header image: Courtesy Getty Images/J_art

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