Sane & encouraging notes from the edge

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Welcome to the Keeping it REAL Caregiving newsletter, where we aim to give you REAL & PRACTICAL information to help you navigate the world of caregiving.

Be sure to say hello, connect and stay in the loop on 📶 Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

If you like what KIRC offers up💛, share it with your circle of family & friends

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First, let me say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who stopped by the first KIRC Facebook Live event this past Friday! (If you missed it, stop by my Facebook Page to check it out. There are two parts – internet dropped out – DOH!)

It was wonderful to connect virtually and I am inspired by the conversations! Another event will be scheduled – look for details soon!

The session really drove home the point how many of us are treading water when it comes to our caregiving duties.

It made me sit still and think about the many different emotions that would hit me while caring for my mother, Miss Nellie.

By a show of ‘virtual’ hands, who out there have moments when you are CONVINCED the Universe is out to get you? When you feel like the weight of the world and all of your responsibilities are just TOO – MUCH – TO -TAKE…?

Pretty much all of you raised your hands, didn’t you? I’m recalling times that I questioned… ‘how was I going to make it through this?’

Slipping into the abyss

This voice in my head would go something like this:

“I’m so tired. I just need a break. How much longer can I keep working, care for mom and take care of myself?”

Caregiving is HARD. In fact, it may be the toughest thing you have – or will ever – do. But right now, your loved one needs YOU!

I recently posed a challenge to the KIRC social media tribe – to offer up three things you LOVE about being a caregiver – and three things you HATE.

I responded first:

I’ll kick this off: Things I loved: 1. Getting to know my mother in a way I never had the chance to as a child. 2. Knowing I was providing the absolute best in a final chapter of life for my mother. 3. Hearing stories about the past my mother previously had not shared. Things I hated: 1. Feeling overwhelmed & tired 2. Having overnight accidents that needed cleaning up 3. Wanting it to end but knowing that meant losing my mother – GUILT!!!

Courtesy: Getty Images/sdominick

What you are sharing

As you read through just some of the responses, I hope words from others can provide some emotional support and encouragement as you move through this journey.

…MY experience was 6 years when my husband was terminally ill and I also had two young daughters and worked full time. I totally relate to your comments….Your last comment was a reality that many of us have endured and we need to forgive ourselves for that thought….I believe it is a normal feeling to want relief from the pain for both the caregivers and the person being cared for….letting go of that guilt is important 🙏. WE did the very best we could at the time and peace comes from that realization…

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Likes:

1. Love being there for my mom.

2. Sitting and reminiscing about the good times with my mom.

3. Seeing her laugh.

Dislikes:

1. Being overwhelmed

2. Feeling alone

3. Financial responsibilities.

I love the conversation❤️

Courtesy: Getty Images/krisanapong detraphiphat

Three I love about Caregiving

Hearing their old stories

The smiles you get

I enjoy getting to know them and what they like and don’t like

Things I hate

When they won’t eat

Being tired

Overwhelmed

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Loved:

1. Being of true, tangible service to each of the parents/step-parents/grandparents of those I gave care.

2. Learning about family history that they didn’t have time or inclination to share before.

3. Experiencing a deepening of bonds, spiritual presence and gratitude.

Hated:

1. The profoundly frustrating red tape and STUPID policies in our Industrial Healthcare complex.

2. Seeing the people that raised me become so weak and vulnerable.

3. Never feeling like I was doing/being “enough”, especially as my children were young when I was doing most of my caregiving.

Making a difference

Do I sometimes wonder if this KIRC idea is worthwhile? Of course I do – all content creators with new ideas/concepts have those thoughts.

But then… a comment like this next one comes in and I KNOW in my heart – this is the right path. And to all of you who jumped into the conversation, you can also know that we are helping each other!

Thank you for sharing what you’ve loved (and disliked). My husband has recently been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia (54 yrs old) and I am still working, so I have only been feeling the overwhelm and negative thoughts. I needed to read your positive comments on this!

What next?

So what next? After reading and digesting these comments (you can see others by visiting my Facebook Page) as well as the interaction from the Facebook Live event, what do I think is a good next step?

I want to hear from all of you and learn more of what issues, topics, and areas of interest would be helpful to include in story coverage as we move forward and identify REAL, tangible ways we can advocate for improvements.

In the coming weeks, look for a survey from KIRC – with the goal of molding all of our voices into one powerful tool to impact change. Who is ready??

Until next time~

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Be sure to say hello, connect and stay in the loop on 📶 Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

If you like what KIRC offers up💛, share it with your circle of family & friends

Remember to SUBSCRIBE 📬 to stay up to date with KIRC news & info & upcoming events!

Visit the Keeping it REAL Caregiving website for more videos, podcasts & events.

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