Bad apples spoil the whole bunch

“I am a caregiver for my mother, aunt and I was for my deceased father. It can be overwhelming at times, however, I know they need my help.”

“I have been a caregiver for two years and I love my job. You have to have patience and a good heart and love; ❤️this is what I always wanted to do. I prayed and prayed for it.”

These are a few comments from some of the growing tribe of the Keeping it REAL Caregiving family across social media.

KUDOS for what you do each day!

So here’s a question for all of you? Why do some who do not have an ounce of real compassion in their bones accept positions as caregivers?

Earlier this week I had a conversation with a dear friend, who happens to be a paid family caregiver.

She currently tends to an elderly client who needs full assistance with toileting and personal hygiene care.

I’ve known said caregiver for many years and can tell you, she is kind, compassionate, attentive and responds to whatever needs her clients may have in the moment. That includes taking them to the bathroom, changing them and yes – cleaning up when there are accidents.

Are you or do you know a caregiver who goes above and beyond for their family/clients? KIRC would love to hear about you/them to share in future updates! [email protected].

Courtesy: Getty Images/FG Trade

Make no mistake… the work can be challenging. After experiencing all of this first hand during the final two years of my mother’s life, I value a solid, caring and thoughtful caregiver more than you can even imagine!

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Sadly, not everyone is like this individual. She shared with me her frustration – no… more like SHEER ANGER… of a fellow staff-member also assigned to this same client.

  • She described how this so-called caregiver failed to listen to family instructions involving bathing the client. Rather than adhering to what she was trained to do, this caregiver reportedly decided the client needed a sponge bath (arms and legs only), rather than taking all the steps necessary to make sure the client was properly cleaned (in other words, making sure the important areas were REALLY cleaned, not sponging arms & legs).

  • My friend said this ‘caregiver’ when confronted, argued back with the family saying something to the effect of ‘I know what I’m doing and I’ve been trained. You don’t have to tell me what to do!”

Courtesy: Adobe Stoc

It was shared this person said this while rolling their eyes and strumming their fingers on the counter, 100% dismissive.

  • This ‘caregiver’ seems to not want to help the client get to the bathroom at night, yet also fails to properly change clothes or bedding if there is an accident.

  • It was described, the ‘caregiver’ did not remove a soiled bed liner, instead placing a new one on top of the old, dirty one, effectively leaving the client in wet, soiled clothing and a damp bed for several hours.

You can imagine how much this conversation left me fuming! My friend said she did not want to get this ‘caregiver’ in trouble at work, but… C’MON!

I said she had no other choice but to report back to her employer with full details. Do you agree? (Why or why not? Would love to get your thoughts on this one).

Let’s face it. Caregiving is hard. It is not pretty. It can sometimes be dirty, smelly, and disturbing. It can be physically and emotionally draining. I know. I’ve done the work.

Courtesy: Adobe Stock

But when we have people like this ‘caregiver’ in the workforce, they harm all of us!

  1. They are potential dangers to clients’ well being, health and safety.

  2. They are a waste of energy and money to whatever agency hired them, because CLEARLY they are NOT doing their jobs.

  3. And, they damage the reputation of good, solid, well-trained, compassionate caregivers….

Case in point… 🧓🏽👴👵🏻🧓🏿

“I have been a caregiver and you have to truly care for the life; the whole life of the person; your loved one (my case, my Mom)”

“You got to have heart to be a caregiver, because it takes that much of your heart to truly care.”

So here’s my plea to those who own and manage care agencies:

I know the hiring landscape is tough right now. But as long as the pay scales remain low (in many cases below $20 per hour), there will people who SHOULD NOT be in this field. They are a detriment to everyone involved.

  • PLEASE do a better job of screening applicants.

  • PLEASE ensure they are willing to be trained and continue learning.

  • PLEASE screen them properly to assess if they are truly compassionate or just looking for work.

  • PLEASE fire those who do not truly care for our elders.

#ICYMI… A recent case in California of holding neglectful caregivers accountable

Okay, I’m finished venting. THANK YOU to those of you doing your jobs well and showing your clients love, respect and compassion.❤️

Until next time~

Ciao