Life, love & loss: lessons from the other side

Every now and again, our paths cross with someone who leaves a lasting mark on us.

Whether it is something they say, their personality (good or bad), how they treat others, or simply their reflections on life… they are forever imprinted on us.

In this Celebrating Black History edition, I would like to introduce you to a woman who had a unique and special way about her.

I hope you enjoy a glimpse into Mrs. Ellen Katherine Hart, as much as I did.

Even in her third-third, her personality was feisty! She could hurl a sharp-witted comment in a heartbeat and didn’t hold back in letting you know what she thought about something. Yet, she tried to be kind to everyone she met.

Raised in Massachusetts, she came of age at a time when women didn’t have the freedoms we do now.

Mrs. Ellen Katherine Hart/Cape Canaveral, Florida – 2016

She worked as a seamstress for many years, while managing her home, husband and raising children.

After the deaths of her husband and both of her children, a son and daughter, she retired to Cape Canaveral, Florida. Throughout the years she stayed active in her community, until her health and mental decline prevented that interaction.

Mrs. Ellen Katherine Hart/Cape Canaveral, Florida

In her retirement, she volunteered crocheting then donating baby blankets to the local hospital. She played cards with friends. She spent time with a male companion going to dinner and local events.

She lived alone but was generally beloved by neighbors in her condo, who often helped her with shopping and errands.

In 2015 she agreed to an interview. I’m thankful I had the foresight to capture these moments. This is some of what we talked about.

Life as an elder…

I can relax more, and just do what I want to do. I want to go out? I go out. If I want to go on a cruise, I go on a cruise. If I want to stay home, I stay home. I don’t have anyone to boss me or tell me what to do. I can do whatever I like and I like that very much.

Now and then…

It’s different because I had responsibility, raising the children, and taking care of my husband, doing dinners and working and at the same time cooking and cleaning. I used to have a scrub board and a galvanized tub I used to wash clothes in.

I remember my dear husband. He felt so bad seeing my scrubbing. He bought me a washing machine for my birthday! I could have thrown that washing machine at him! I appreciated it though. But a washing machine for my birthday? Get out of here! (She laughed)

I had a sweet husband, god bless his heart. Hmmpf.

Mrs. Ellen Katherine Hart/Florida, 2015

Marriage and loss…

He was a great man, we used to have a lot of fun together. It was a short time but I always say, ‘God knows best.’ And now I’m here getting old by myself. But I’m enjoying it.

I was very fortunate, and I met this guy [her husband] and my father really liked him.

He went on to Jesus and left me here to raise two children. How long was I married? Hmmm, let’s see. I don’t remember. I think it was almost 27 years or something like that. He died in ’67. Time goes by so rapidly.

The only reason I married him was that he was a nice guy, and I never regretted it. He was alright in my life. I could have been married about four times after he died, but there was nobody like him.

Love and romance…

In this day and age now, you can enjoy the company of a man and you don’t have to marry him. And when you decide there are no more feelings there, you say ‘bye-bye’ and hopefully you find someone else.

You couldn’t shack up with nobody, that’s for sure. You had to try and act like a lady, even if you weren’t. You better act like one! Today, women are more free to do anything they want and that’s a blessing for them. It was quite different when I came along.

A life well-lived…

My life has been good. I’ve met new friends – especially since coming down here. You know I can get along with people. I love living. And I always try to be nice to everybody. God made us all and we’re all human beings. I wish somebody, everybody would realize that and just get along with each other. Maybe that day will come. Some day.

One of Ellen Hart’s last big trips was to return to Massachusetts for her 70th high school class reunion. She made the front page of the local newspaper!

Mrs. Ellen Yarbough Hart

Julia Yarbough/Ellen Katherine Yarbough Hart – 2016

Mrs. Ellen Katherine Yarbough Hart – May 4, 1922 – May 11, 2021

Aunt Ellen was my father’s older sister. Her death made me sad not only for the loss, but also because I was not able to be in Florida with her during the final years of her life and help her navigate through the physical and mental decline she suffered.

This is my way of sharing a piece of her memory and legacy.

She is part of Black History.

American Stories.

Until next time~

Julia

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If you missed the previous feature stories Celebrating Black History, not to worry, you can check them out here:

How one male caregiver connected with the past, family and himself

She’s young, black and owns an in-home care agency. 5 things this professional wants you to know