KIRC is proud to feature a special series of stories as we honor Black History Month 2022

In this update, meet a man, a son and a family caregiver who discovered a slice of his own family history, while exploring and reconnecting with relatives.

BLACK HISTORY MONTH

“The last night my mother was alive she was on the phone laughing with one of my cousins,” recalls Pierre Brown. “I remember that. It was the last time I heard her laugh.”

That moment was not just a memory for Brown, a son who stepped into the role of family caregiver to help his mother.

He says it may have been the exact moment when he truly recognized his mother, Mrs. Wilma Whitlow-Brown, as a woman who experienced immense joy from the deep connections she had with her family.

Wilma Whitlow/Courtesy: Pierre Brown

“Those calls were her primary source of socializing; on the phone talking to relatives, my cousins in Tennessee and some in Georgia. She would tell me stories about them.

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Connecting to mom

Brown, who is now 55, says his family moved to South Florida, from Nashville, Tennessee in the early 1970’s. He was just a little boy.

While growing up, he knew of various relatives; cousins and the like, but did not meet or spend time with them.

When I talked with Brown and asked about his mother, he painted a vivid and lively picture.

“My mother was spry, alert, and mobile,” explained Brown. “She would get around and talk, she was very quick-witted, very sociable.”

He says even after facing several serious health issues, one which led to limited use of her right hand, she remained determined.

“She wanted to finish her Master’s in Health Administration degree at St. Thomas University. There were many nights when I would go sit in the classroom and take notes for her.”

Strong determination could not stop a health decline. In 2010, Mrs. Whitlow-Brown passed away. She was 72.

Courtesy: Pierre Brown

“She was young, my mother. I always thought she was going to be the one who would live into her late 90’s or more. I really believed that.”

Brown says his mother’s death shook him. It also reminded him that although his mother was gone, the rest of her family was not.

Family Connections/Courtesy: Pierre Brown

“There were so many stories about the cousins, John, Thelma and Catherine, and I enjoyed those stories. I wanted to connect with the people that she spoke about, the people she looked up to, the people that inspired her, and the people from her childhood. I just wanted to make that connection.”

And so he did.

Family history & what it means

In 2018 Brown says he decided he should travel to Nashville, to the home and people who had been closest to his mother; the place where most of his cousins lived, including Thelma and Catherine. Both cousins were in their 90’s but each had been near and dear to his mother.

“For years in Florida I would hear my mother talk about them and we had never really met. I didn’t realize how close my mother was to them because we didn’t travel a lot.”

Wilma Whitlow Funeral Service/(L to R) Pierre Brown; Siblings Natasha, Mario, Michelet, Anthony, Dante/Courtesy: Pierre Brown

Brown says after his mother passed, he talked with his cousin, Catherine.

“I remember her saying, ‘We want to see you!’ And it dawned on me that they had never really seen us. There were six of us kids. They had pictures and conversations but that was all.”

Brown explained the need to meet family felt almost like a calling.

“I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why it was so important for me to visit, other than wanting to connect. I know it has something to do with trying to stay closer to my mother, and giving me a clearer picture of my lineage and background.

What did Brown learn about himself by making such a family pilgrimage?

“It was very revealing. It was a great feeling. It felt almost like coming home. When my cousins saw me, they cried.”

Brown says during the visit his cousins cooked, and told stories; they brought out pictures he had never seen, and even some family artifacts.

“One thing that really stood out with me was a quilt my grandmother, Miss Pearl Whitlow had made. I was only about four years old when we left Nashville, but I remember that quilt. It had all these colors and patterns. As soon as I looked at it I remembered Miss Pearl.”

No guarantees

Brown says he had planned to return in 2020, but Covid-19 prevented that. By the time he did visit again in late 2021, his cousin Catherine had just passed away.

“Thank God I saw her in 2018!”


I asked Brown if his literal and figurative trip to the past was worth the effort. He says ‘yes,’ and encourages all of us to do the same.


“There’s something about proximity and placement and lineage and people; the people before us. It’s one thing to hear stories, but something about traveling to a place, looking people in their eyes and making a physical connection and hearing them laugh. Being amongst them and realizing that all these years, we’re missing so many stories.”

Brown says he learned just how dynamic his relatives were and the impact they were making on others.

“There are nurses, educators, community caretakers; cousins Thelma and Catherine were both so popular, it seemed like everyone knew them. They were associated with Lake Providence Baptist Church in Nashville… I’ve never seen a church that beautiful!”

Courtesy: Pierre Brown

Brown learned that one cousin had written a book that touched on the essence of family.

“It speaks not just to our family, but it feels like it speaks to a lot of other families, to community and the importance of that. We all have different backgrounds and not everyone has close knit families. I missed out on a lot of family gatherings but connecting with them brought me closer.”

Brown adds, “When you are dealing with processing loss it may be a step toward some kind of therapy.” He advises:

  • Get as close as you can, even after passing.

  • For those still living, get as close as you can to their lives, even if they’re older.

  • Learn as much as you can because that’s who you are.

“That’s how we got here. It lets us know more about the big picture of who we are and where we came from.”

Black History is American History is Family History

And THAT… is Black History

Thank you Pierre Brown for sharing your family history with all of us!

Until next time,

Julia

🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸🌷🌸

*Header Image: Thelma Whitlow(Cousin)/Courtesy: Pierre Brown

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